


Arguments and Mistakes

by Trans_N_Pans



Series: Heartstrings [4]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alex is an asshole, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Arguments, But so is Thomas, Emotional Hurt, Nonbinary Peggy, Scars, Thomas and Alex don't like eachother, Touch Aversion, Trans Alexander Hamilton, and it all goes to shit, asexual peggy, but still, he isn't trying to be though, he just talks without thinking, just a lot of angst, mentions of abuse, mentions of self harm, or more like insinuations, there's nothing happy in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-03
Updated: 2017-11-03
Packaged: 2019-01-28 20:34:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12614920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trans_N_Pans/pseuds/Trans_N_Pans
Summary: Alexander had had it up to here with Jefferson. Who was Jefferson? Well, he was only the biggest asshole to ever walk the face of the earth! According to Alex he was, at least.Or alternatively:Alex and Thomas learn they're soulmates and it all goes to shit





	Arguments and Mistakes

Alexander had had it up to here with Jefferson. Who was Jefferson? Well, he was only the biggest asshole to ever walk the face of the earth! According to Alex he was, at least.

 

“I'm telling you Peg he's going to be the death of me. I'm going to get so angry at him that I'm going to pop a damn blood vessel!” Alex ranted softly over the phone as he scanned in returned books. If he weren't at work, Alex would be yelling in frustration. He kept his voice just above a whisper, though.

 

“What happened this time Al?” He heard their voice over the phone, amused almost. Of course they were. Alex swore Peggy was a sadist sometimes.

 

“The usual bullshit he spews from the back of the room. I came two steps from punching him the other day, but JJ held me back. Wanted to punch him too..” Alex muttered as he scanned in the last book, sitting back to work on his school work while he talked.

 

“It's like watching a soap opera when you talk about him, I love it. It's better than sex, honestly.” They snickered and Alex rolled his eyes.

 

“Peggy you're ace, what sex do you have in the first place”  he smiled some, though, as she laughed.

 

“I just really love that phrase, it's ironic from where I say it.” They mused and Alex shook his head.

 

“I better go. I have that midterm to study for and that paper for Psych I have to work on” he sighed

 

“Alright, hit me up with the latest gossip on Jefferson when you get some” they said before hanging up. Alex smiled some and dropped his phone into his bag at his feet. Sundays were normally busy with students trying to finish homework before monday classes, but today it was moderately paced. It wasn't crowded and the murmur of people was almost impossible to hear. The quiet was nice. It almost made him forget about the argument from Friday.

 

“Of course I can respect other peoples opinions, his opinions are just shit” Alex muttered to himself, thinking out loud as he was typing a draft on his phone. If he didn't have his laptop, he’d settle with this. He felt a gentle tug from the string on his ring finger and he smiled. John..They had been talking more since that first night. Were they friends? Not exactly, but they were getting to know eachother. He gave a small tug back and then gave one to the string. Normally it didn’t pull tight. This time it did as a book was sat on the counter in front of him. He still had the string between his thumb and forefinger. His eyes slowly followed it to where it connected to the other persons hand, tied to their forefinger. He slowly looked up and his breath hitched. Holy..

 

“Jefferson..?” He didn’t really know what the emotion was in his voice. More than likely it was confusion and a hint of annoyance. This wasn't real this was a fucked up dream that he was about to wake up from. The taller man was silent as well and Alex could see the shock on his face. Alex released the string and looked at their hands, glancing to the string and him several times before sighing

 

“Well fuck me..” he groaned, and leaned back in his chair.

 

“A..Alex- I-” Thomas finally was able to speak and Alex glanced up at him

 

“Don’t. Look I don’t like you, you don’t like me. Being soulmates doesn’t change that. Lets just get this over with and-” Alex was reaching forward to touch his hand, only to be cut off as Thomas ripped his hand back.

 

“Dont. Dont touch me...I..sorry I just..” He looked panicked and Alex frowned, brow furrowing. Wait..

 

“I’m..sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. Here..only if you want to” Alex said slowly, cautiously moving his hand to rest on the counter. He left the offer to connect up to Thomas, let him have control of the situation. Was this was he was like when he was younger…? Huh..

 

“..Alright…” he murmured in reply, hesitating a moment before slowly reaching to brush their fingers together. It was a light touch, ghostly almost..but they still touched. The change was almost instantaneous. Colors that had been dull were now vibrant..to think he thought they were bright before this.

 

“Wow..” he breathed out and Thomas pulled his hand back. They were both looking around now, Thomas still seeming a little upset.

 

“Are you..um..okay?” Alex asked softly. He looked at the time. He could go to lunch now, no one would say anything

 

“I..I forgot how nice colors were..” was all Thomas said. Alright. Nope. They needed to talk.

 

“Okay. I’m going to lunch. Its Sunday. Unless you have work to be at, we need to talk about..this” Alex said, referring to their hands where they were connected by the string. Thomas nodded slowly, sighing and running a hand through his hair.

 

“I..suppose we should.” he murmured in reply and Alex clocked out for his lunch, texting his coworker, who was in another section of the library, that she needed to come and sit at the front until he got back from lunch.

 

“Subway sound good? I just don’t want to walk any further than I need to and there's one just across campus” Alex asked and got out his phone, texting Peggy.

 

** _To Pegster_ **

**_ Sent at 2:05pm: _ **

 

**_ pEGGY HOLY SHIT I FOUND MY OTHER SOULMATE _ **

 

**_ To Pegster _ **

**_ Sent at 2:05: _ **

 

** _ITS FUCKING JEFFERSON_ **

 

He turned his phone off then, knowing it was about to blow up. Alex heard Thomas agree to this quietly. The whole situation was odd..The two of them could never talk civilly. They sat at opposite sides of the room. Alex would always leave class first to avoid him. If they got within yelling distance they would argue. To be here now, walking quietly side by side..it was weird.

 

“Can I just say how fucking weird this is?” Alex said and Thomas chuckled softly.

 

“It is..Normally we would be yelling..or..you would be yelling” He mused and Alex rolled his eyes.

 

“I raise my voice, but I would hardly call it yelling” He said. It was yelling and they both knew it.

 

“Whatever you say, darlin. Whatever you say” 

 

“Call me that again and I’ll show you a lot more than yelling” Alex huffed and this brought a laugh from Thomas.

 

“Theres the Hamilton I know” He said and Alex rolled his eyes. Not many people knew him well enough to call him Hamilton. When he had been adopted, he opted to do what Laf did. He took his parents last name, but kept his original last name as a middle name.

 

“Fuck you” He replied and Thomas went quiet again.

 

“Hey. Alexander...do you..hate me?” He asked. It was a simple question, but it left a odd feeling in Alex’s chest. Did he hate Thomas..? He disliked him. He was infuriated by him most days..but did hate really apply? Was that the correct terminology…?

 

“I’m..not sure…?” Alex said and Thomas nodded.

 

“I see...Well..I don’t harbor any hatred for you. We may disagree on literally everything, but I do respect you as a person.” Thomas said and Alex felt that feeling in his chest deepening.

“Y..Yeah..of course.” Alex said, shoving his hands into his hoodie pocket.

 

“What does that on your hoodie mean? ‘Show Time’” Thomas asked and Alex laughed softly.

 

“Oh that. Well. When I was still in the system-”

 

“System..?” Thomas interrupted, making Alex give him a look.

 

“Foster care. Anyways. When I was still in the system, I was known for my short temper. I was put into my last home when I was 15 and I got into a lot of fights at school. When my parent adopted me, my dad told me my words could make a better impact that fists. Of course I didn’t believe him...but..well..the next time someone tried to start something with me.” Alex snickered and shook his head at the memory

 

“I think I made him cry, now that I think about it. I apparently have a knack for tearing apart someone’s pride, hopes, and dreams” He mused, glancing at the hoodie.

 

“The phrase is kinda like an inside joke really. I wasn't really fighting, more like putting on a show to see how thoroughly I could break them down. Not healthy, I know, but fuck it. I never got suspended again and I never started it.” Alex hummed.

 

“Angry in childhood and adulthood. That sounds about right for you” Thomas hummed. They walked in silence again and the feeling in his chest was only growing. It was like a hole had opened in his chest. Wrong..misplaced. Something was just off.

 

“Jeffers-..Thomas. Are you just pretending to be nice to me because we’re soulmates..?” Alex asked. He knew the feeling now. It was the same feeling he got when his mom started to show him care and love he hadn’t had before in. Thomas wasn't showing him love or care..but..he was showing him kindness. Thomas and Alex had never been kind to each other. Old long and forgotten paranoia was clawing its way out, trying to rise back to the surface of his mind.

 

“Of course not. Like I said. I don’t hate you. Youre an asshole, but you’re the only other person who could even possibly be my intellectual equal. You give me a challenge when we.. debate. If you think we need to change our... dynamic, simply because of this, I'd have to say that you aren't the Alexander Washington that I know and tolerate” Thomas said as he held a door open for him. Alex looked up and realized they were at the building where Subway was.

 

“Thanks..” he muttered, stepping inside.

 

“I do, however, think we should try to be... somewhat civil outside of class. We.. are still soulmates, after all. We can’t change that” Thomas continued and Alexander noticed how he was carefully choosing his words and hesitating at times. It was different from the loud mouth Francophile Alex knew..but at the same time, it didn't look like an act that was being put on. It almost seemed..more like Thomas than man he saw almost on the daily.

 

“I'm always somewhat civil” Alex huffed almost childishly. The taller man rolled his eyes at this.

 

“Of course you are. Here, I'll buy your lunch and we can call it a temporary surrender from being utter assholes to each other for the..when do you have to go back?” He asked and Alex hummed, walking to the front counter with him.

 

“45 minutes..so about 35 minutes by now” Alex said, ordering himself a meatball sub

 

“Alright. So a temporary surrender from being utter assholes to each other for the 35 minutes you have for lunch” he chuckled and Alex hummed.

 

“Hm..deal” He said and though this was supposed to be a “temporary surrender”, Alex still made sure to get extra stuff on his sandwich to jack up the price. When reminded that it would cost extra, all he would say was “he's paying, it's fine” with a smug grin at Thomas. The man rolled his eyes and just got out his wallet. Alex finished up his order with the sandwich, a bag of chips, and a drink. Thomas begrudgingly gave the girl behind the counter his card to swipe on her side, since the card reader was seemingly out of order for the time being.

 

“You're still an asshole, I guess” Thomas grumbled and Alex snickered, not showing an ounce of regret.

 

“By nature” he replied, taking his food to a table before going to get a drink. He considered coffee for a moment before getting soda instead. He had coffee in a thermos at the library.

 

“Alright. You wanna talk. Let's talk” Alex said, sipping on his drink. Thomas sighed.

 

“I thought we agreed not to be hostile” he said and Alex shrugged.

 

“I never signed anything to legally bind me to that” he said simply, but then deflated some at the look Thomas gave him, giving in.

 

“... Alright. No hostility. Simple questions seem okay. Favorite flower?” Alexander asked

 

“Yellow tulips. Yours?” 

 

“Chrysanthemums. Always thought they looked fluffy and soft when I was growing up” 

 

“I..don't know what those look like actually” Thomas murmured, getting out his phone to Google it. Alex hummed softly, taking a bite of his sandwich. He wasn't surprised, really. He used to help his mom in her garden during the summer, so he learned about a lot of different flowers. Swallowing his bite, he asked another question.

 

“Favorite color? Wait nevermind-” Alex had remembered they just now ‘found each other’ and was about to ask something else, but Thomas cut him off, still looking at his phone.

 

“Pink and purples. Magenta if we’re going to be more specific. These are nice looking flowers, I see why you like them” He said and Alex looked at him, confusion very clearly on his face.

 

“How-” He was cut off again, Thomas looking up at him from his phone with an indescribably blank look on his face.

 

“You're not my first soul mate, Hamilton. You’re just the only one I have left..” He said and Alex almost curled down into himself.

 

“Sorry..” He said and Thomas sighed, shaking his head.

 

“No, don’t. That... that was shitty of me. Its not your fault I shouldn’t take it out on you. I’ve missed seeing color, though..so I can at least thank you for that. Things are just..dull still. Brighter than when I met her..but still dull looking” He hummed, stealing a chip from Alex’s bag.

 

“I know what you mean. Things seemed..a little dull when I met my soulmate John..but, things are a lot brighter now. Kinda giving me a headache” He hummed, not arguing against the chip theft happening in front of him. They fell into silence after that until Thomas spoke up.

 

“Whats yours? Your favorite color I mean..?” He asked and Alex paused. 

 

“Green”

 

“Thats a nice one..” 

 

Again, silence as Alex ate. Normally Alex wasn't able to shut up, talking for hours on end if he was allowed to..but he couldn’t think of anything to speak of now. It was an odd feeling.

 

“Are you always like this out of class?” He finally asked, not really thinking about his words before saying them, and Thomas’s brows knitted together.

 

“What do you mean?” he asked

 

“Not..I dunno..arrogant? Loud? Know-it-all-ish?” He asked. It was a legitimate question. Alexander had never seen Thomas  not acting like a total tool.

 

“Well, I don’t know. Are you always like this out of class? You know, not acting like your head is up your ass” Thomas replied and Alex glared.

 

“Excuse you? I have _my_ head up _my_ ass? I’d love to know what you call it for yourself then! I’ve never met someone so in fucking love with themselves before!” Alex said, standing up. He forgot about his food for the moment, lost in the heat of the argument. Thomas stood as well and Alex continued to glare up at him.

 

“Oh thats rich! I at least have a little self care for myself. What about you? No one wears long sleeves in 90 degree weather” Alex could see the pause and then slight regret warp onto Jefferson's face. It was too late, though, Alex was already seeing red.

 

“Oh. Is that what you think? Let me show you, then” Alexander's voice was deadly even. It wasn't loud or anything. It was that calm and quiet kind of anger.

 

“Alex wait I'm sor-..shit..” Alex had pulled his sleeves up, baring them for Thomas to see. The scars weren't as prominent as they had been in the past, but the marred skin from years of abuse was still there.

 

“You act like this is bad? You should see my stomach and back! Now don't you _ever_ talk like you know shit about me, Jefferson. You don't know _anything about me_ ” Alex grabbed his food and stormed out of the building, Jefferson watching with a look of shock and regret. 

  
The string between them almost looked like it was starting to break.


End file.
